How to Create a No-Spoiler Version of Star Wars Episode 2: Attack of the Clones. Part 11

I grew up watching the Star Wars prequel trilogy and love them to no end, but they are flawed films and, like others before me, I’ve been working on my own fix. I’ve also become a little obsessed with creating a ‘no-spoiler’ version of the prequels that could be watched before the original trilogy without spoiling any of the twists.

The full list of entries in this series can be found here.

Naboo

The next few sections of this series will, I suspect, involve a fair bit of back and forth between Geonosis and Naboo, and a little of Coruscant as well. That’s not bad or anything, but the transitions between scenes will need to be good, especially since there could be some tonal whiplash between the paradise setting of Anakin and Padme’s lakeside love story and the political chaos of the main story.

Obi-Wan’s observation in the previous entry, that he shouldn’t have gone to Geonosis alone, should flow fairly well into a scene of Anakin (the obvious person to help him) at the actual film’s lakeside house with Padme.

Upon arriving at the lakehouse, Anakin can first joke that every time someone tries to kill her, they get sent somewhere more remote. That’s just to help with continuity. Laughing, Padme should ask, following their previous arguments, if they can start over/try to be friends again, like when they were kids, to which Anakin should happily agree.

The film’s version of their love story is, in my opinion, kind of depressing (when Anakin isn’t being creepy). Presumably because ‘they can’t be together’ or something. This is not the tone that this version will use. It will still be established that Jedi can’t have relationships, but nonetheless, they should be depicted as enjoying each other’s company and being broadly quite happy, at least when they’re not talking about politics. That should sell their love story more effectively than the brooding angst of the actual film. Having said that, it does need to be balanced with the tone of the overall film; they should be visibly conscious of the escalating conflict.

One of them can ask, jokingly, about what they’re supposed to do in their luxury hiding place. The other can respond that they’ll just have to waste some time. Some of the falling-in-love montage stuff from the actual film can follow, starting with the picnic.

This can involve, as in the film, Padme briefly talking about a previous boyfriend. She should also ask Anakin about his former love life, which will allow Anakin to tell Padme and the audience about the prohibition on Jedi relationships and attachment in a fairly natural way. (He might also say that it was different once, before the Order, when the Jedi were nomadic).

Padme, a little deflated, can comment that no attachments is a hard way to live, at which point Anakin should quickly change the subject. This can be followed by Anakin trying to surf on that cow thing (to escape a difficult conversation), the dinner where he uses the force to move a piece of fruit, and then the fireside conversation/heart-to-heart stuff.

Again, the fireside scene shouldn’t be as angsty and depressing as the actual film. Instead, it should be a normal conversation in which they pick up a topic from earlier (the one Django Fett interrupted): why Anakin supports militarisation and a quick strike on the Confederacy.

Anakin can then talk about the death of his mother, his deep-seated fear of losing people, and his belief (rooted in the rewritten episode 1 death of his mother) that sometimes you have to strike hard and fast to protect people. Padme, having been present during the death of his mother, should be sympathetic to why he thinks this, but will still disagree and argue (in an understanding and non-confrontational way) that this would only lead to more pain. This thread is important; it will eventually inform his fall to the dark side.

Anakin can also mention how he can sense when people are in danger, especially those he cares about. I haven’t dealt with the more mystical aspects of the force so much in my version of the prequels, primarily because I think the bulk of it should be saved for Luke’s journey in the original trilogy. But some references are needed, especially in Anakin’s case. He can tell Padme that the force is more than just a superpower: it’s an energy field that binds all living things, and its practitioners can sense fluctuations and disturbances throughout the galaxy. He can also mention his Lightsaber (since it’s important to Luke), and how Jedi can sense the rare Kyber Crystals that power them.

The conversation shouldn’t go on for too long; I don’t want it to be a lore dump. He can wrap it up by saying that he was previously able to stop Django because he sensed that she was in danger. Padme should then joke about how he must care about her a lot if he can sense when she’s in danger, eliciting a blush from Anakin, and then note, more seriously, that it must be hard to sense and feel so much for other people when the Jedi Order forbids attachments. Anakin will admit to it and add that even his grief for his mother was deemed a dangerous attachment.

After a moment of contemplative silence, Padme should admit that she did have a crush on him when they were kids (which her family had previously been joking about). Anakin can say he felt the same, but will also say that the Jedi would never have allowed that.

The scene can end, by way of another transition, with Padme, looking out over the lake and saying something about how it’s so peaceful that she could almost forget the Galaxy is in chaos.

Coruscant

Cut to Coruscant, where Bail Organa, having returned from Kamino, should be found walking down the halls of the Republic’s executive building. It is important, for the overall story, to include some scenes of the Republic’s descent into tyranny. The actual film’s wartime Emergency Powers Act is a key component of this. But I want to change the relevant scenes a bit. In the actual film, they focus on Jar Jar Binks. I think they should rotate around Bail Organa instead (given his family’s importance to the saga). Though, unlike Binks, he obviously won’t support the act.

Bail should be met, outside Chancellor Palpatine’s office, by Mon Mothma, who can welcome him back to Coruscant and ask if his reports of clones and droids are true; this is to help the film’s continuity. They might also be joined by one of the Republic Judicial Officers from my version of The Phantom Menace, who’ll be sporting a recent injury that, he’ll explain, he received in a recent border skirmish with a Confederate Militia. I’m including this comment for world-building and to remind the audience of the ongoing low-intensity clashes. It helps to expand the setting.

The three of them will enter the Chancellor’s office and find Palpatine, Mace Windu and some generic Jedi, and several of Palpatine’s more hawkish advisors. The advisors will be uproar about the Confederacy, as the Jedi attempt, unsuccessfully, to calm them.

One advisor, possibly a Tarkin family member, can angrily lament that despite the Republic’s years-long effort to de-escalate the conflict, “The Confederacy has escalated the conflict in our place. First, the assassinations, and now we hear reports of a Droid army on Geonosis.” They’ll continue, saying that the Senate deadlock over militarisation means they can’t adopt the new Clone Army. “We are entirely defenceless!” Mace Windu, attempting to placate their anger, can point out that, though the Jedi and Judicial Forces are few in number, they haven’t yet had Obi-Wan’s field report from Geonosis. “The droid army might not be real.”

Another hawkish advisor, probably Mas Amedda, will object that if the reports are true, they can’t wait for Obi-Wan’s report; by then, it could be too late. At this point, he can propose that, in the wake of the Geonosian crisis, the Senate may be convinced to grant the Chancellor emergency powers.

Bail Organa and Mon Mothma should interject that war can still be averted, with Bail planning to lead a delegation to Geonosis for emergency peace talks. Palpatine will refuse to let them, asserting that he won’t risk the lives of any more Senators, and clearing the way for Mas Amedda to begin planning the emergency powers vote.

After the meeting, Bail Organa and Mon Mothma can take a brief aside to discuss the proposed emergency powers. This is to help make the politics clearer and will also serve as another transition scene. Mon Mothma should call the emergency plans unsettling and note that they would place the militia, the Jedi, the Clones and even the Judiciary under Palpatine’s personal control. “Can one person be trusted with that much power?” Bail Organa will agree and can add that he wishes Padme were there with them. “She’d go to Geonosis no questions asked.”  Mothma can then tell him about the recent assassination attempt on Naboo, adding that she’s been moved to a safer location.

Finally, Bail Organa can say that they’ll just have to hope that Obi-Wan contacts them soon. That’s to facilitate another scene transition.

End of Part 11

The next entry will deal with the infamous “I don’t like sand” moment and revisit Obi-Wan on Geonosis.

-Dexter