How to Create a No-Spoiler Version of Star Wars Episode 2: Attack of the Clones. Part 5

I grew up watching the Star Wars Prequels and love them to no end, but I will admit that they’re flawed films. The fan base has, subsequently, provided a host of suggestions and proposals on how to fix or rewrite the Prequels. I’m sympathetic to that effort, but I want to go further.

I’ve become slightly obsessed with the idea of a ‘no-spoiler’ prequel trilogy. A version of the films that would allow new fans to watch the entire saga in chronological order without spoiling any of the twists or reveals of the original trilogy. It will be difficult to do, but if it’s possible, it would be awesome.

I’ve been trying to do just that. I’ve previously set out a series of rules for the rewrite and have completed an outline of the Phantom Menace.

Currently, I’m working on a no-spoiler outline of Attack of the Clones. In part 2, I outlined the opening scene of Episode 2: a peace conference on Alderaan that gets attacked, with Naboo Senator Padme Amidala as the clear target. In part 3, I outlined the aftermath and discussed Obi-Wan and Anakin’s dynamic. In part 4, they fought a monster.

Part 5 will formally introduce the Confederacy of Independent Systems.

The Confederacy of Independent Systems

This is chiefly a transitional scene. It could be, I think, a little jarring for Obi-Wan and Anakin to jump directly from a monster fight on a rural, outer rim world and into the heart of Coruscant politics. There needs to be a short scene in between, giving them time to travel. This also seems like a good opportunity to show that the Galaxy is in chaos and formally introduce the Confederacy.

It always seemed a little strange to me that Count Dooku and the Separatist Council (who lead the Confederacy), the primary antagonists of Episode 2, aren’t introduced until the film’s third act. I’ve already made some attempts to address that. My version of the Phantom Menace featured Count Dooku as a disillusioned Jedi, and the opening scene of this film, the peace conference, featured some Separatist/Confederate senators. But I don’t think that’s quite enough. There should be a short sequence, near the film’s start, formally introducing the Confederacy of Independent Systems. This seems like the perfect place to put it.

The last scene, with Anakin and Obi-Wan, should end with the two Jedi heading for their ship, ideally with Obi-Wan saying something about it being a long journey back to Coruscant and the Galaxy being in chaos. This is chiefly to help with the film’s internal continuity and facilitate the scene change.

Galactic Chaos

The film should cut to a brief montage of a war being fought across the Galaxy. As previously discussed, I’m aiming to smooth over as many of the prequel trilogy’s political lore dumps as possible. Starting the war before the film starts should help with this. (I have another reason for this as well, which I’ll get to slightly later). At this stage, it should still be a low-intensity conflict, fought with militia forces over various border disputes. That’s a course that can be communicated to the audience very easily. To repeat an early point, the chief political concern will be the risk of escalation.

But the low-intensity conflict should be seen, not just discussed. This can be done easily, with a brief montage of Confederate and Republic militias fighting each other on four or five different worlds, set to a John Williams soundtrack. This would be similar to some of the war montages seen in Clone Wars 2003 and Revenge of the Sith. It also introduces a bit more action to the early film. Obi-Wan’s comment about the Galaxy being in chaos can lead directly into this brief montage, and the montage in turn can lead directly into an emergency war meeting of the Separatist Council.

The Separatist Council

In my version of The Phantom Menace, there were several militia forces that appeared throughout the film. The constant bickering between militia captains was one of the ways I attempted to set up the separatist crisis. At the film’s end, during the Naboo celebration, moreover, one of the peripheral militia captains declares that Naboo’s victory against the Trade Federation has proven that the peripheral worlds don’t need the Republic to protect them. In the Confederacy/Separatist Council scene, I’m going to bring that militia captain back, now as a Separatist General.

The short montage will be followed by the General storming into a grand and elaborate Council meeting room, where Count Dooku and several Senators (including some from the opening peace conference) will be waiting. The General will report, with some urgency, that another disputed border has descended into conflict. The Senators should be shocked and panicked, whilst Count Dooku remains calm and composed.

The Senators, freaking out, should demand that reinforcements be dispatched, to which the General can say the militia is already overstretched. There can be some worried exchanges about the Republic’s upcoming militarisation vote as well. “If the Republic Senate votes to create a standing army, they’ll overwhelm us!” or something. This should be followed by a generally panicked argument with a few lore clarifying comments: “Without the border zones, our economy will be unviable,” Too many of the border planets are pro-Republic,” “This is Naboo’s fault, if they had joined the Confederacy…”

The high energy and panicked nature of the exchange will allow us to sneak in a bit of exposition in a relatively easy manner. And it will be short besides. Throughout the discussion, Count Dooku will remain calm and unconcerned. Eventually, he’ll raise his hands for quiet and reassure the panicked Senators that he’s taking steps to resolve their problems. The General can speak up at this point, asking if the rumours are true (this will be a confirmation and explanation for the audience): Is the Confederacy planning to partner with the Droid armies of the Mega Corporations? Count Dooku will confirm it.

The General should express some unease about this. He can note that the Mega Corporations have often acted with cruelty towards the peripheral worlds, and the rumours alone have discouraged many separatist worlds from joining the Confederacy. Count Dooku will reassure him with some spiel about the Republic forcing their hands. Besides, Dooku should continue, the new Confederate government will be more capable of regulating the Mega Corporations than the corrupt and far-away Republic ever was.

One of the Senators can note that the Republic will see the move as escalation, saying, “it all but guarantees they’ll approve the militarisation act.” Another Senator will respond that the attack on the peace conference has already made escalation inevitable. They can add that they blame the Republic militarists for said attack. Dooku will conclude the meeting, noting it’ll take months for the Republic to organise a formal army, and by then their newly purchased Droid armies will have seized the border worlds and won the war. For now, he’ll finish, his personal guard will be sent to secure the new front.

End of Part 5

That’s it for part 5. Part 6 will likely be a little closer to the actual film. It will feature the lift scene and the meeting between Obi-Wan, Anakin and Padme. Still, there are a few points about that scene that I want to change. In chief, I want to make it less awkward.

-Dexter