How to Create a No-Spoiler Version of Star Wars Episode 2: Attack of the Clones. Part 3

I grew up watching the Star Wars Prequels and love them to no end, but I will admit that they’re flawed films. The fan base has, subsequently, provided a host of suggestions and proposals on how to fix or rewrite the Prequels. I’m sympathetic to that effort, but I want to go further.

I’ve become slightly obsessed with the idea of a ‘no-spoiler’ prequel trilogy. A version of the films that would allow new fans to watch the entire saga in chronological order without spoiling any of the twists or reveals of the original trilogy. It will be difficult to do, but if it’s possible, it would be awesome.

I’ve been trying to do just that. I’ve previously set out a series of rules for the rewrite and have completed an outline of the Phantom Menace.

Currently, I’m working on a no-spoiler outline of Attack of the Clones. In part 2, I outlined the opening scene of Episode 2: a peace conference on Alderaan that gets attacked, with Naboo Senator Padme Amidala as the clear target. In part 3, I intend to outline the aftermath and discuss Obi-Wan and Anakin’s dynamic.

The Meeting with Palpatine

Following the attack, Padme and Bail Organa will hold a meeting with Chancellor Palpatine. He’ll respond to Padme’s near-death by assigning a Jedi Knight to protect her. There’s a similar scene in the actual film, and I was tempted to mimic it, but it has some problems. That version takes place in the chancellor’s office on Coruscant and features several politicians and Jedi. It also includes a lot of exposition about the Separatists and Count Dooku. It serves, chiefly, to explain who the Separatists are.

I’m generally keen to reduce the amount of exposition in this film. That’s partly why I started with a heated peace summit, the war already underway. It’s a way of showing that the Republic and the Separatists can’t stand each other without requiring any long explanations. It’s also why I featured Dooku in episode 1. This should help reduce the amount of exposition in this meeting scene. Their discussion should be brief and entirely focused on the attack.

Moreover, I’m inclined to have the meeting take place on Alderaan rather than Coruscant. It would feel erratic for the characters to skip between planets in the first few minutes. Palpatine will be calling them holographically, rather than meeting in person. There also doesn’t need to be any superfluous politicians or Jedi present. It’ll just be Palpatine, calling from Coruscant, speaking to Padme. Although Bail Organa should still be included. I want him to have a bigger role than in the actual film, and it makes sense for him to be there; Alderaan is his planet.

The film should cut directly from the attack, in which Padme was the chief target, to the meeting. Holographic Palpatine will check that she’s unharmed and ask if they have any leads. They can briefly discuss whether Count Dooku is responsible, but Padme should quickly shoot that down.

It’s possible that Dooku is responsible, Padme can say, but he’s not the only suspect. Hardline Republic militarists dislike her anti-militarisation stance, and Separatist extremists hate that Naboo’s growing influence has kept hundreds of worlds in the Republic. By killing her, both sides could rid themselves of an opponent while demonising the opposing side.

Holographic Palpatine should feign surprise at the possibility of a Republic-based assassin, with Padme clarifying that she isn’t making any accusations. She’s just stating that the culprit could be anyone and that they clearly want to fuel the conflict. Something like, “Nothing would surprise me now, Chancellor. What’s clear is that whoever did this wants to escalate the conflict. That must be why they attacked during the peace summit.” Bail Organa can add that both sides have started blaming each other.

Admittedly, there is a bit of exposition here, which I said I wanted to avoid. But I think it’s okay here. A little exposition is needed and, paired with the previous peace summit, should be fine. This is a conversation that would be had in such a situation. Again, I’ve also tried to eliminate the need to explain who Dooku and the Separatists are, so that’ll be left out. This should be a short exchange.

Finally, Palpatine will insist on discussing Padme’s security arrangements. He’ll order her return to Coruscant and explain that he’s arranging Jedi protection. Padme will object that she has work to which bodyguards could disrupt. As in the actual film, Palpatine will insist, responding that the disruption can be minimised by selecting some old friends to protect her. Namely, Obi-Wan Kenobi and, to Padme’s surprise, Anakin Skywalker. (Anakin and Padme were childhood friends in my version of episode 1.)

A quick point about Obi-Wan and Anakin’s friendship.

One of the big problems in the Prequel Trilogy, I think, is that they never really show Obi-Wan and Anakin being friends. They’re supposed to be (“you were my brother Anakin, I loved you”), but don’t actually seem to be. In episode 1, they barely speak. In episode 2, they just complain about each other. The opening scene of Revenge of the Sith (and the Clone Wars TV show) does address this, but by then it’s too late.

You might argue that it’s intentional. Qui Gon Jinn was supposed to be Anakin’s mentor, not Obi-Wan. This is part of the reason Anakin fell to the dark side, as George Lucas and Dave Filoni have noted. Anakin needed a father figure, and Obi-Wan didn’t know how to be that. But I’ve occasionally heard people go further, arguing that Obi-Wan and Anakin don’t actually like each other. That is often how it comes across. Still, I disagree.

Qui Gon was the mentor Anakin needed. But it’s crucial to the overall story, I think, that Obi-Wan does care about Anakin and does see him as a friend. That’s why he devotes the rest of his life to protecting Anakin’s children, Luke and Leia. The fact that the Prequels barely depict them as friends subsequently feels like an oversight.

Making Obi-Wan into the trilogy’s main character, which I’ve been trying to do, makes their lack of onscreen friendship even more conspicuous. I want to address this. In my version of the Phantom Menace, I made sure to have them interact more (though still making it clear that Obi-Wan is not the father figure Anakin needs). They also need to be shown as friends during episode 2. There’s an easy way to do this.

Their introduction in the actual film sees them bickering in an elevator and then arguing in front of Padme. I’m inclined to add a new scene, occurring prior to this, that depicts them on a fun, light-hearted adventure. This will set up their dynamic and friendship whilst allowing for a short but fun action sequence.

Adding an extra scene does risk complicating an already crowded film, but I think that’s fine. As discussed in part 1, I’ve put a lot of effort into streamlining the movie, removing entire sequences. That should free up ample time. Establishing their friendship and dynamic is, moreover, narratively essential. Besides, a fun, light-hearted adventure scene doesn’t need to be complex. It can also balance out the politics of other scenes and make the early film more engaging.

End of Part 3

I was planning to keep going, but this article started to get very long. I had to split it in half. In part 4, Obi-Wan and Anakin will fight a monster.

-Dexter