How to make a no-spoiler version of the Star Wars Prequel Trilogy that can be watched in chronological order, without spoiling any of the Original Trilogy’s twists.

Now this is Pod Racing!

I love the Star Wars prequel trilogy, but I can’t stop thinking about how awesome it would be to watch the entire Star Wars saga in chronological order and still be surprised by all the original trilogy’s twists and reveals. It would be hard to accomplish, but I want to know if it’s possible. So, I’ve been writing a rough outline of how I think a no-spoiler version of The Phantom Menace should go.

In Part 1, I outlined my alternative opening.

In Part 2, I discussed Naboo and outlined the call to adventure.

In Part 3, I introduced the Trade Federation and the Droids.

In Part 4, I focused on Mos Espa, Watto’s Junkyard and Anakin.

Part 5 is about Podracing.

Anakin and Obi-Wan

To my mind, the prequel trilogy is currently missing a few plot points. Chiefly, Anakin and Obi-Wan’s friendship (referenced in episode 4) isn’t really shown until episode 3. In episode 2, they don’t seem to like each other, and in episode 1, they barely interact. It feels like a glaring omission. Why should we care about their duel on Mustafar if they never speak and don’t like each other? It becomes an even bigger issue if you cast Obi-Wan as the main character (which I have).

I want to try and amend this. I’ve seen it suggested that Obi-Wan should be jealous of Anakin and the attention he gets from Qui-Gon. “Why are you shopping for a new apprentice?” I am somewhat inclined to have Obi-Wan react like this, but it should be quickly resolved without conflict.

Qui Gon will, as in the actual film, recognise Anakin’s affinity with the Force, speculate that he’s ‘the chosen one,’ and express a desire to train him. Qui Gon should still be depicted as a would-be father figure to the troubled Anakin. This will, as above, make Obi-Wan jealous, but instead of having any drawn-out tensions, it will be resolved with yet another heart-to-heart (Qui Gon’s death will be gut-wrenching!).

Qui Gon should clarify that Obi-Wan’s training is nearly complete and that Anakin isn’t ready for Padawan status (he needs to undergo initiation). “I’m not abandoning you, Obi-Wan.” He can also explain that Anakin is angry over his enslavement (the deleted scene where Anakin fights Greedo, should be included) and needs guidance.

This interaction should lead directly into a scene with Anakin and Obi-Wan that establishes their friendship. After being grounded for fighting with Greedo, Anakin should show Obi-Wan the Podracer he built and excitedly tell him about an upcoming Podracing event called the Skywalker Cup (and his intention to compete). Obi-Wan, in turn, will tell Anakin about the Republic’s internal divisions.

Shortly after this scene, Obi-Wan will learn, as he wanders the streets of Mos Espa, that the Naboo Queen is held captive by one of the slave owners that is sponsoring the Skywalker Cup competition.

Darth Maul, also searching for the Queen, will be spying on them the whole time (as in the actual film).

The Slaves of Tatooine

It seems strange that the Jedi – keepers of the peace and protectors of the innocent – didn’t try to free the other slaves. Since I’m changing stuff anyway, this will be addressed. The Jedi will try to free everyone, cementing their heroic nature (so that Order 66 is more brutal), explaining the relative absence of Tatooine slaves during the original trilogy (other than the Hutt slaves), and contributing to Anakin’s story (to be seen below).

When they arrive in Mos Espa, Obi-Wan should immediately want to fight the slave owners, but Qui Gon, though equally horrified, should stop him. They’re without a ship, cut off from the Republic, and hopelessly outnumbered (and they can’t do a mind trick on everyone). Freeing the slaves, Qui Gon can say, will require patience and subtlety. “Trust in the force and an opportunity will present itself.”

Obi-Wan can then interpret the Skywalker Cup as the opportunity they’ve been waiting for.

Podracing

Trusting Anakin’s connection to the force, Obi-Wan (with Qui Gon and Anakin’s approval) should enter Anakin into the race. Then, they’ll make a deal with the Mayor and slave owners that, if Anakin wins, the slaves will be released, including the Queen. If Anakin doesn’t win, Qui Gon and Obi-Wan will agree to become slaves.

Having Obi-Wan make the bet instead of Qui Gon (like in the film) will be an opportunity to develop his character and should be played as an attempt by Obi-Wan at patience and subtlety. The stakes are also higher in this version: all the slaves will be freed, not just Anakin.

The slave owners should think the idea is ridiculous but, assuming Anakin can’t win, agree. The deal should be widely publicised among the slaves, and the Mayor, a contract-obsessed Hutt stooge, will agree to enforce the outcome. “The only law on Tatooine is that all bets are honoured.” (The Hutts probably don’t care if Mos Espa’s slaves are set free, so long as the town keeps paying tribute).

When Anakin does win the race, he’ll name himself Skywalker after the cup (this must not be played as a wink at the camera moment). The slave owners will refuse to release their slaves and immediately enter into conflict with the Mayor. The bets publicity will quickly escalate this conflict into a full-blown slave uprising.

This won’t be a long scene. The Slaves, Jedi and Mayor’s troops will quickly overpower the slave owners, freeing everyone. But it should be a fairly big action sequence (the movie doesn’t have enough). It’ll also explain the obscurity of Jedi in episode 4 (despite their role in the liberation). The Jedi didn’t free the slaves; they freed themselves.

Reverse Uncle Ben Moment

In the actual trilogy, Anakin’s fall to the Dark Side begins in episode 2, when his mother dies on Tatooine. But I’ve previously said that Tatooine should be cut from episode 2 (and I stand by that). Instead, his mother’s death should occur during the slave revolt. There should be a sort of “reverse Uncle Ben moment.”

A brief detour: when Peter Parker/Spiderman first gets his powers, he uses them for personal gain (fighting for money). When a venue owner refuses to pay him, he lets someone rob the venue. The thief then kills his Uncle Ben, and he realises that he has a duty to help people. Something similar should happen during the slave revolt, but Anakin will learn the wrong lesson.

He should have the chance to kill, in cold blood, a slave owner who was particularly cruel to him but should choose not to. He wants to be a Jedi, and Jedi don’t kill in cold blood. That slave owner will then kill his mother.

Anakin, realising that if he had ruthlessly killed him, his mother would still be alive will conclude that “You need to be ruthless to protect people.” That line of thought should follow him through the prequels and appear increasingly justified until, in episode 3, he decides to act on it.

Leaving Tatooine

In the revolt’s aftermath, the Jedi will find the Queen and acquire a new ship. Anakin’s brother, now going by Owen Lars, should want Anakin to stay on Tatooine. But Anakin, determined to become a Jedi, will refuse. He wants to save Naboo and prevent the Republic from tearing itself apart. Owen will call it an “idealistic crusade” (as in episode 4).

As they prepare to leave the planet (with the Queen) they’ll be attacked by Darth Maul, like in the actual film. But they’ll escape and head back to Coruscant. Maul might also play a role in the slave revolt, in which he could attempt to capture the Queen.

Qui Gon will be the one to comfort Anakin; Obi-Wan should want to offer help but won’t be sure how. This will demonstrate that it should have been Qui Gon (a father figure) who trained Anakin rather than Obi-Wan (who ultimately failed Anakin). Again, contributing to Anakin’s downfall.

At this stage, Qui Gon should explain, for the audience’s benefit, that the Sith are an ancient enemy of the Jedi. They believe that peace and balance can only be achieved through domination and fear (the grieving Anakin will remember this). The last known Sith, he’ll explain, was destroyed hundreds of years ago by the greatest living Jedi: Master Yoda. But Darth Maul’s appearance has him spooked.

To make the scene more interesting, Qui Gon could use the smoke from a funeral candle (commemorating Shmi) to create a sort of smoke puppet about Yoda and the Sith. Yoda should never be seen in the prequels; his reveal is an important twist in the original trilogy. A stylised shadow puppet can hint at his appearance (big ears) without revealing it. However, this isn’t strictly necessary and can be omitted as needed.

End of Part 5

It took a while, but the characters finally left Tatooine. In part 6, they’ll return to Coruscant and the film’s main plot.

It was worth the wait, though. Anakin has been introduced, and his fall to the Dark Side has already started.

I’ve also tried to eliminate any need to return to Tatooine in episode 2 (as occasionally mentioned). That should make the second film less convoluted. Now that is Podracing!

See y’all next time.

-Dexter