How to Create a No-Spoiler Version of Star Wars Episode 2: Attack of the Clones. Part 9

I grew up watching the Star Wars prequel trilogy and love them to no end, but they are flawed films and, like others before me, I’ve been working on my own fix. I’ve also become a little obsessed with creating a ‘no-spoiler’ version of the prequels that could be watched before the original trilogy without spoiling any of the twists.

The full list of entries in this series can be found here.

Naboo and Kamino

Anakin and Padme’s arrival on Naboo doesn’t need to be changed all that much, besides a few alterations to the dialogue to reflect the altered lore. As in the actual film, there can be a shot of them walking through Naboo’s capital city of Theed, followed by a scene of them speaking with Naboo’s ruling council. As for the dialogue changes, there can be some speculation about the stalled militarisation bill and the possibility of escalation.

A moment that does need to be changed, however, concerns Anakin. In the actual film, he has a slight temper tantrum in front of the Naboo council after Padme calls him a student instead of a full-blown Jedi. It’s a weird moment, it undermines his likability, and it should be cut. Instead, he can make some mildly sarcastic jokes about being back on Naboo.

Obi-Wan’s arrival on Kamino and his first encounter with the Clone army can likewise be similar to the actual film. The main difference here is that Bail Organa will also be present, and should have a few lines about politics. Upon arriving, the Kaminoans will note that they’ve been hard at work on the army that Jedi Master Sifo-Dyas commissioned for the Republic. Bail can initially object to this, but at Obi-Wan’s signal, they’ll both play along. Later, Obi-Wan can inform Bail Organa that Sifo-Dyas died before the Kaminoan timeline would indicate; the conspiracy deepens.

As in the actual film, the Kaminoans will lead them on a tour of their facilities, explaining their cloning process and showing off the clones. This will include that awesome shot of the Clone Army boarding a transport ship whilst Obi-Wan (and now Bail Organa) watches from a balcony. “Magnificent, aren’t they?” This scene also includes a discussion of Django Fett and his clone son, Boba. That will still happen, but on the point of Django, I am going to deviate from the actual film again (he is still the cloning template, though, my established rules require that).

First, however, I want to here re-introduce a cut sequence (in an altered form) from the actual film. There’s a deleted scene in which Anakin and Padme visit Padme’s family home, and they assume that he’s her boyfriend. It’s a useful moment for developing their relationship and should be re-added, though with the dialogue again changed to reflect their childhood friendship. It should also be as embarrassing as possible. Padme’s parents and sisters should recount, at length, how Padme used to talk about him endlessly and that they were sure she had a crush on him. Padme should seem mortified, and Anakin can be left blushing.

Django

It’s been too long since the last action scene.

In the actual film, there’s a fight scene on Kamino in which Obi-Wan attempts to capture Django Fett before he can join the separatists on Geonosis. It seems strange to me, however, that the Kaminoans themselves would allow Django to do that, given how much he knows about the anti-separatist army they’ve just built. In other words, why is he at the centre of both galactic armies? Surely the generals would object to that. Django accidentally leading Obi-Wan to Geonosis also feels a little convoluted.

Bail and Obi-Wan should still meet Django and Boba Fett on Kamino, but to avoid this plot issue, Django should not then lead them to Geonosis. Instead, he can say he’s taken another commission and that he’ll be leaving shortly. He won’t immediately get into a fight with Obi-Wan either. There’s no reason for him to do so; in this version, he had nothing to do with the previous assassination attempt on Padme. To help the film’s flow, Obi-Wan and Bail can meet Django as he’s leaving, perhaps loading his ship and then flying away. My reason for this will become clear in part 10 (he will still get some action scenes).

A New Action Scene

All that said, there does still need to be some action. To bide the audience over until Django’s later fight scene, the Kaminoans should comment, following his departure, that a presentation has been prepared for Obi-Wan and Bail.

In the Clone Wars TV show, Kamino has a training course in which Clone Cadets fight mock battles against droids. I want to have a brief scene depicting these mock battles, with Obi-Wan and Bail as observers. This isn’t just a cool action sequence either. It will allow for some covert exposition and plot advancement.

First, on their way to the presentation, Bail can note that the Senate would have to approve the use of the Clone Army (there might be a brief comment about the morality of clone soldiers as well). Then, on the observation platform, the Kaminoans can point out how much better the the Clones are than Battle Droids (a line in the actual film) whilst a clone cadet rapidly overpowers and guns down a dozen training droids.

Crucially, Bail Organa should observe that the training droids are highly reminiscent of the corporate security droids used by the Trade Federation and other mega corporations. The Kaminoans, mildly perplexed by the question, can nonchalantly explain that, since the Clones will primarily be fighting battle droids, it makes sense to train them for it. When Obi-Wan and Bail request an explanation of that prediction, the Kaminoans can elaborate that the corporations have formed an alliance with the Confederacy and begun amassing their battle droids on Geonosis. This will take Obi-Wan and Bail by surprise.

I’d hazard it makes sense for the Kaminoans to keep tabs/spy on the Confederate forces that their clones will be fighting. They have an interest in doing so and assumed that the Republic was likewise aware. This is how I plan to move the plot towards Geonosis. In response to Obi-Wan and Bail’s obvious shock, the Kaminoans can conclude the conversation by reassuring them that the Confederacy knows nothing of their clones.

Obi-Wan and Bail, horrified, will step out into the corridor to discuss the revelation. Bail will declare his intention to return to Coruscant and inform the Chancellor and Senate. “If the Confederacy is building a droid army on Geonosis, they could overrun the Republic; we have to act quickly.” He should add, given the stalled militarisation bill, that the Senate will likely respond by granting Palpatine emergency powers. Bail should be uncomfortable about that but assert, nevertheless, that he has a duty to report the threat. Escalation now seems inevitable.

Obi-Wan, meanwhile, will decide to visit Geonosis and learn everything he can, shutting down the droid army if possible. Bail should observe that the mission is dangerous and that he’ll need back-up. Obi-Wan, ever reckless and now fearful of putting others in danger, will respond that there isn’t time; he plans to do this alone.

End of Part 9

Part 10 will see Django on Naboo and Obi-Wan on Geonosis. See y’all then.

-Dexter