How to Create a No-Spoiler Version of Star Wars Episode 2: Attack of the Clones. Part 8

I grew up watching the Star Wars prequel trilogy and love them to no end, but they are flawed films and, like others before me, I’ve been working on my own fix. I’ve also become a little obsessed with creating a ‘no-spoiler’ version of the prequels that could be watched before the original trilogy without spoiling any of the twists.

The full list of entries in this series can be found here.

The Jedi Archives

Following up on Bail Organa’s request, the next scene should see Obi-Wan in the Jedi Temple Archives, searching for information on Kamino. This will closely mimic the actual film. Obi-Wan, searching through the archives, will be informed by Jedi librarian Jocasta Nu that, if Kamino isn’t in the archive, it doesn’t exist.

To preserve the Yoda reveal in The Empire Strikes Back, the subsequent episode 2 scene in which Yoda and the Younglings guess that the data has been deleted, will need to be cut. That is a shame, and we may still see Younglings training in the background, but it’s not an overly important scene. Obi-Wan can figure it out by himself (noticing that the gravity signatures are still there) and mention this to a dismissive Jocasta Nu.

There is a deleted scene, however, that I’d like to re-add at this point. It sees Obi-Wan and Jocasta discussing a statue of Count Dooku in the library. This will help to fill the gap between The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones and, together with his earlier appearances, should help to properly establish Count Dooku’s character.

Moreover, extending their discussion to include Qui Gon (who was Dooku’s former Padawan) could be a useful character moment for Obi-Wan. His feelings of guilt over Qui Gon’s death (in my version of The Phantom Menace, Qui Gon died because of Obi-Wan chasing after Maul), and his subsequent overprotectiveness of Anakin can be emphasised. The scene can end with Obi-Wan telling Jocasta about Anakin’s first assignment and how he requested it be something relatively quiet and far from the war, but that, nevertheless, he’s concerned.

Anakin and Padme

This seems like a good moment for an Anakin and Padme scene. There’s a part in the actual film, just before they leave Coruscant, in which Padme appoints Jar Jar as her representative and then has a brief exchange with Anakin about not wanting to leave. I’m inclined to include this (even the Jar Jar bit), but it does need to be altered.

The actual film sees Anakin resigned to following the Jedi instructions, which feels out of character, and then angrily complaining that his obvious brilliance hasn’t been recognised. It borders on a temper tantrum, which Padme has to awkwardly listen to.

Instead of this, their interaction should start off fairly upbeat; they do need to fall in love during this film.

Anakin could make a few jokes, which Padme will find genuinely funny, and then say something about the force leading people where they need to be. Nevertheless, the moment should sour. Despite his attempts at humour, Anakin should still be fairly annoyed about the assignment and will suspect that Obi-Wan is responsible. His expression of this should lead to an argument (because their love story can’t be too easy).

Anakin, expressing his “be ruthless to protect people” philosophy, should make a comment about how they can go home once a militarised Republic has stamped out the Confederacy. Padme, an opponent of military escalation, objects to this. Queue argument (a heated argument could also sneak in some lore about the politics, like the Superman movie did). The scene can end with Anakin sarcastically muttering something like “this is going to be a fun trip.”

As in the actual film, Obi-Wan will see them off at the port. This scene requires very little alteration. He can explain that the Jedi Order has arranged for them to travel cognition (so that we can avoid a Jedi Council scene). Anakin and Padme, meanwhile, should be noticeably irritated by each other. As they walk away, Obi-Wan can tell the Naboo security guard that he hopes they don’t do anything reckless, also as in the film, though perhaps adding that he “won’t be there to protect him.” Finally, Anakin could briefly say to the anxious Obi-Wan that he’s being overprotective again.

Bail Organa

Obi-Wan should meet Bail Organa at Dexter Jettster’s diner. There’s no good reason for this, but it is a fun setting. I’ll confess I’m not entirely willing to cut Dexter Jettster (in no small part, I’ll admit, because I have the same name as him and that makes me laugh). Still, it strikes me as odd that Dexter knows about Kamino when no one else does. He’s not necessary, and I’m demoting him to a background character (sniff). Still, Obi-Wan and Bail do need a discreet location for their meeting, somewhere they can talk freely, and that location might as well be Dexter’s Diner (he might even get a line). Bail Organa can have a brief line about the locale, “too many ears in the senate.”

The meeting itself doesn’t need to be overly complex or long. Obi-Wan will reveal that the Jedi archive has no information on Kamino, but that the local gravity suggests there’s an unknown planet in the region. Bail, in turn, can reveal that the Senate library is also lacking information. “I smell a conspiracy, Master Obi-Wan,” Bail can say, before explaining that Kamino recently contacted him about the creation of a Clone Army. Due to the political tensions over militarisation, he’ll continue, he’s chosen to keep this secret until they know more.

Bail can then outline his intention to visit Kamino in the hopes that, by following the conspiracy, there may be a chance to end the war. For continuity with the original trilogy, Bail should also note that Obi-Wan previously helped him resolve the Naboo crisis, breaking Jedi and Republic rules to do it. He hopes, as such, that Obi-Wan will serve him in this as well. Obi-Wan should agree, though he notes that he wasn’t meant to go on the Naboo mission. It was Qui Gon that got recruited, he just snuck along and is relieved that his own Padawan won’t be able to do the same. Nevertheless, he’ll need to inform some Jedi that he trusts, Bail agrees.

A couple of Transition Scenes

In the Jedi Temple, Obi-Wan will inform Mace Windu about the secret mission to Kamino. They’ll both agree to the need for secrecy and, then, Windu can ask if Anakin is safely on route to Naboo.

This will be followed by a brief scene of Anakin and Padme having dinner on their transport. This will be similar to the actual movie, but instead of talking about love or whatever, it should be a heart-to-heart reconciliation after their argument. They know it could be a long assignment, so they agree to be friends again, like when they were kids. Though, for bonus points, Anakin might here comment that Jedi aren’t supposed to have attachments outside the Order, that’s why he disappeared when they were children.

Finally, Obi-Wan will meet up with Bail Organa, outside the Jedi Temple, and depart for Kamino. Obi-Wan’s starfighter has probably been loaded onto Bail Organa’s ship, the Tantive 4. This is the ship from the opening scene of A New Hope.

End of Part 8

That’s it for part 8. The next entry will see Anakin and Padme arrive on Naboo and introduce the Clones on Kamino. I suspect that this series will go a little faster now.

-Dexter