Thoughts and Fiction

A while ago, I wrote a blog post about the Mario Timeline. I didn’t actually make a timeline – I’ve not played enough of the games for that – but I had some thoughts on how to make one. And, now, I’ve had some more thoughts on the matter, so I thought it was worth writing a follow-up post. I reckon I’ll keep doing these timeline updates and gradually fill in the whole Mario timeline.

Why is Mario a plumber? The actual real-life answer is that Miyamoto wanted him to be a relatable character rather than a god-like superhero. But that doesn’t necessarily have to be the in-universe reason. There’s room here for an elaborate fictional/story explanation. And here one is! It’s not an accident that Mario, the hero of the Mushroom Kingdom and many other lands besides, happened to be a plumber. The plumbers of the Mario universe, I’ve decided, are the most qualified adventurers there are. Nor is it a weird in-universe peculiarity that the four plumber characters we know of (Mario, Luigi, Wario and Waluigi), all wear a variation of the same costume. That costume is heraldry, similar to how knights used to wear elaborate tabards. Because, in the world of Mario, plumbers need to be warriors.

I’ve got to assume that the day-to-day job of Mario-verse plumbers is to maintain the warp pipes alongside other critical systems. But in the Mario universe, pipes aren’t just essential infrastructure (though I’m sure they are also that) but fast travel devices. Able to quickly transport people across vast distances, warping them there. And that makes them a strategic weakness! Warp pipes can be used, and have been used, by invading Koopa armies. I’m only partially joking. The 1983 Mario Bros arcade game, one of the earliest Mario games, sees Mario and Luigi defend the New York sewer system from a wave of turtle invaders (Koopas), emerging from the pipes. Mario and Luigi have since been retconned as being from New Donk City (which I’ve talked about here), but I reckon this game remains canon. They’re just defending the New Donk City sewers instead of the New York sewers. Sure enough, there’s a brief segment in Super Mario Odyssey where you descend into the pipe-filled New Donk City sewer system (it’s referred to as the Underground Power Plant, but the generator uses pipes to transport and drain power moons, so I’m counting it). It’s there, I’ve again decided, that the events of Mario Bros 1983 occurred.

If and when the pipes are used for an attack, it’s most likely the plumbers – whose job it is to maintain the pipes – who will encounter the invaders first. As such, they need to be skilled fighters for their own survival and because they’re the first line of defence. Just as in Mario Bros 1983 when Mario and Luigi together fought off a Koopa invasion of New Donk City. This ultimately means that if you’re looking for a warrior in the Mario universe, a plumber is a good bet. The prestige in which they’re subsequently held is the reason they mark themselves out with distinctive yet functional costumes/uniforms. And all because of the pipes. This also suggests that there are more warrior-plumbers than the four we’ve met. If Mario and Luigi are busy in the Mushroom Kingdom, and Wario is busy becoming rich, there must be other warrior-plumbers back in New Donk City maintaining and defending the city pipes (maybe this is what Waluigi does between sports games).

Mario Bros 1983 further outlines the second major event of the Mario timeline. Going by release order, Mario Bros 1983 would occur after the events of the original Donkey Kong arcade game and before the events of Super Mario Bros for the NES. I’ve previously said that I think the 1994 Donkey Kong for the Game Boy retcons the original arcade game, but I will stick with that original release order. As a general rule, going forward, I don’t think retcons should change the order of events unless something in the retcon explicitly demands that the order be changed. I also think, in this case, that the story works better if you use the original release schedule. Shortly after Mario rescues Pauline from Donkey Kong, Bowser launches an attack on New Donk City, which Mario and Luigi repel. Mario presumably then travels to the Mushroom Kingdom to aid them in their simultaneous war against Bowser. Thereby keeping the Koopa army too busy to launch a second attack on New Donk City (hence why the Donkey Kong affair should happen before all this).

On a final note, I didn’t have an explanation for the Dr Mario spinoffs in my previous post on the timeline, but I do now. A warrior-plumber needs to be capable of dealing with any eventuality. They need to be skilled fighters and they need to be capable of repairing and maintaining the warp pipes. But they also need to know parkour and gymnastics – to overcome the dangerous terrain of the subterranean pipe system – and must be capable of dealing with any injuries and infections that occur during the brutal clashes of pipe war. It won’t always be possible to immediately pull the warrior-plumbers from the sewers and treat them in a hospital. Not if they’re busy fighting off a Koopa invasion. So, they need to be capable of field medicine, of fighting the infections themselves. Medical knowledge, as such, is an essential tool of the warrior-plumbers skill set – hence Dr Mario.

-Dexter